I will never be good enough for you.
For one, I find it hard to believe that I’m good enough in the midst of many others whom are way better than me in a million different ways. There are smarter, funny and definitely much more charming girls out there than me.
I would never be the girl that you’ve always dreamt of.
Never. As hard as I try, I might’ve met a couple of the girls that you’ve fallen in love with for the past few years that I might’ve known you and knowing the kind of the girls that you’ve dated, I would never be one of them. If you’ve known from the start that I was that girl that you’ve dreamt of, we wouldn’t be here right now.
But why do I say that I’m not good enough?
It’s because I don’t rely on guys, I count on my gut and my own strength to get things done.
It’s because I come across self-sufficient.
It’s because I’m independent.
It’s because I don’t filter my words.
It’s because I don’t behave like a girl’s supposed to.
It’s because I actually think (and partly because I hate looking stupid).
It’s because I’m prideful to say that it’s better to be together with someone than to be alone.
It’s because I failed to realise how alone it is to be around everyone else.
It’s because it’s hard to play it cool.
It’s because these are my insecurities.
I long to look into someone’s eyes lovingly and as he looks back at me, I know that I’m his pride and joy regardless of what I am.
I don’t want to meet your expectations. It’s tough. But I can’t be who you want me to be, because that’ll not be me anymore. I don’t want that.
As much as I’d hate to say it but out of everything that’s before you, why would you even see me, why am I seeking approval?
Honestly speaking, I’m not pretty, I have a couple of talents which I’m sure that there’s many more out there that are much more talented than me.
Here’s my single tear to the one person who will see me and find me, I pray that you’ll fight for me, that you’ll choose to love me, that in all things that you’ll choose me.
I don’t know what works, I don’t know what helps but it bugs me to think that am I really that bad of a person to go through something like this? But maybe it’s just me.
I don’t have a reason for you to choose me.
And I never will.