Why do I even try?

I feel so ridiculous trying to hold conversations with people, trying to do everything I can and not be weird, try to be sensible, to be someone I’m not ready to be. 

I love being in my bubble. I love the fact that I could ignore someone’s presence and enjoy my time alone with a book. I love being alone at times to take in what’s around me. I love that I could be who I am around people. Not needing to care the fact that I’m almost eighteen, able to make my decisions but occasionally making mistakes. 

Truth is, I’m not really a people person. I could keep my mouth sealed and just sit there and stare at you all day feeling awkward. Because I tried, and I realised that you can see if someone’s really wants to keep a conversation with you or not. You will understand if the other is trying or not. 

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