You know, that moment you stumble upon something that you’d wish you never see on instagram but then you decided scroll back just to see it clearly and then… Try your hardest not to double tap it? Yeah, such things happens once in a while for quite some time. Wait wait wait, it’s not anything sad, heart wrenching etc etc kind of emotion but it’s something that sets your heart on the rollercoaster ride of its life.
But the worst would probably double tapping it accidentally and then un-liking it. Which leads to the question.. Do you wanna just shrug it off as you tapped it accidentally or hide. But then again, it doesn’t really matter.
Strangely, it didn’t hurt. Because there wasn’t the power to hurt me.
Lately, I’ve been wondering what I should do after I complete my diploma and thinking like what’s going to happen next? Is it going to be work, university, or to go see the world. If there’s really one thing that you have to know about me? It’s that I don’t like to stick around for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like Singapore but I don’t want to be tied down to this place. There so many things that I’ve not seen, many things that I’ve not experienced, and the list goes on… All day, I could simply dream of visiting a castle or sail a boat or even climb trees to pass time to just simply live in the moment.
Today when I was out, I figured out something that I couldn’t for years if I could say so. This life that I’m living, isn’t the same as anyone else’s out there. Even they might be similar in ways, but they’re never replicated. For example, there might be a guy that I like and someone else comes along and say that they liked the guy as well, it couldn’t possible be for the same things that the guy and I shared. It’s the same guy, just not the same experience, same dinner and whatnot.
I realised that I was limiting myself to my environment and it’s inhabitants. All along, thinking that doing something that would capture a person’s attention, would probably save myself from my ever decreasing self-esteem but I realised that I didn’t have to. My self-esteem shouldn’t be dictated by someone’s ‘idealistic’ thoughts, it shouldn’t be dictated by the likes of others but yet it did for a few years. Let’s just put it as, the truth hurts but it can only boost your self-esteem. I know what it’s like trying to be that perfect girl for a guy, it’s stupid and a complete waste of time. Guys out there saying that they’re looking for personality? Let’s just hope it’s true. Usually, it comes with a pretty face that they’re attracted to first. If I could say so, they’re pretty shallow. #justsaying and also, not all of them are that shallow. Sometimes it’s just fate teaching you a lesson. But out of this entire thing, there is just one thing that I would like to say.
Never alter your appearance and who you are on the inside for a guy.
all douches anyway.)
P.S.: This isn’t an ‘I hate men’ speech. I love them, I truly do but just not the way ladies are changing themselves for them and the way men treat them.