Growing in to the 20s

I’ve liked how people called ’18 years of age’ the season of coming to age. Which is like you’re legal to do anything and becoming an adult. That means to make responsible decisions. Hah, Fel making responsible decisions? But in any case, that was in the 1800-1900s where you’re a fair maiden having the need to make good decisions for your family and marry off into a well off family possibly a duke, marquis, earl or a viscount. You get what I mean.

So, to apply that situation to my life, I would’ve been cast out to the streets by now. Thank God for advancement in this century?

Anywhooze, after a couple of months of being 20, THE PRESSURE IS ON. And by pressure I mean everything. Being an adult is tough, well legally speaking there’s a couple more months till I become 21 which is pretty scary. Indeed, the struggle is real. There are so many reasons to back up my statement of being scared.

  1. I’ve just graduated from the poly life therefore it equates to an application to a university or finding a job.
  2. I can’t just work for my entire life especially if I don’t know what I truly love to do or if there’s such a category: Travel, Photography & Music for the rest of my life is a thing. (Well, my blog could. Which means I’ll need to build my page. :/)
  3. I doubt there is.
  4. Where I could find a boyfriend. (Apart from the constant harassment from my relatives that keeps asking the same old question every year, I began to develop a internal clock that’s ticking because people around me have feelings for each other and I need to stop my third-wheeling game.)
  5. I AM PROBABLY THE MOST DEPENDENT PERSON EVER. That being said, it’s not that I’m reliable but rather, reliant on my parents.
  6. Passion > Money? Or it’s the other way around.
  7. I can’t make good decisions.
  8. Being an adult is real. Bills are real too. Especially when it comes to spending.
  9. What if applying to uni was a bad idea?
  10. I blame the system.
  11. I feel that I don’t fit in the local job system really well.
  12. I DON’T WANT TO GROW OLD AND REGRET.
  13. I’m scared how life turns out not the way that I want.
  14. Is there a manual to life?
  15. Where’s the off switch. Oh wait, that’s death. Nope.
  16. Struggles
  17. I’m not ready.
  18. I can’t do this.
  19. It’s too scary!
  20. What if everything goes wrong?

Responsibilities are real and at the same time it’s choking me. I feel like I’ve not lived to the fullest to commit to a lifetime of working. That means that my next holiday would be when I retire. I can’t find a balance to this.

So in general, being a 20 year old is scary. (lol, instead of scary, it was auto-correct to ‘suay’ which is bad luck.)

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